Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Shadow Phil-osophy


Harry B. Sanderford

Phil Connors, Phil Collins & Dr. Phil have gathered at Gobbler’s Knob at 4:30 am on the morning of Wednesday February 2nd 2011. They’ve come to support their fellow Phil, Puxatawny, as he attempts to predict the likelihood of an early Spring by the sight of his shadow or lack thereof.

                                                ~

Puxatawney Phil: Thanks for coming. You guy’s ok, need anything?
Dr. Phil: “This ain’t my first rodeo son!”
Phil Collins: “I wish it would rain.”
Puxatawny Phil: I’m not anticipating rain today Phil, maybe sleet tomorrow.
Phil Connors: “What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.”
Phil Collins: “It’s against all odds?”
Phil Collins: “I can feel it in the air...”
Phil Connors: “This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype.”
Puxatawney Phil: Thanks Phil. Always good to get feedback from a colleague.
Dr. Phil: There’s more than one way to skin a gopher son.
Puxatawny Phil: C’mon Doc, you know I married a gopher.
Phil Connors: “This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”
Puxatawny Phil: Needle all you want Connors. Squirrels work for the Farmer’s Almanac, I’ve got a network gig.
Dr.Phil: You don't put bicycle fenders on a pig that'll sing soprano!
Dr.Phil: “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

The sun is long past risen and the Phils have taken one giant step back from the Doc who is slobbering, scatting and ranting.

Dr. Phil: “No dog ever peed on a moving car.”
Dr.Phil:  A bear don’t squeeze the Pope’s Charmin when he’s gettin’ the milk for free…
Dr. Phil: You don't need a satchel full of corndogs just to prove you’ve been to the circus…
Puxatawny Phil: What in the hell are you talking about Doc?
Phil Collins:”There's this girl that's been on my mind all the time, Sue Sussudio, oh, oh.”
Dr. Phil: There’s no hoppin’ the turnstile on the subway to Bakersfield…
Puxatawny Phil: C’mon guys, I need to make my prediction!
Phil Connors: “I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.”


                                                ~


*Phil Collins & Phil Connors (Bill Murray) quotes are from Phil Collins songs and the movie Groundhog’s Day.  I put more than a few words in the Doc’s mouth but a couple of the Dr. Phillisms are actually attributed to him “ “ (and one to Pink Floyd).

I hope for you Winter-bound folks, Pux doesn’t see a thing and that Spring is on its way.

Happy G-Hog Day!

Har

7 comments:

ABSOLUTELY*KATE said...

THE SHADOW KNOWS HAR . . . even when he has to play it over and over and over and over again ... why, when you wake up on February 2, he may even be casting about over AT THE BIJOU next door.

But you sure write purty nice about your Phil-lings. (yuk, yuk, yuk) ~ Absolutely*Kate

Sugar said...

No one cuts and pastes together a bunch of fun..er, phun...better than you, Har! It appears as though Phil didn't see his shadow so Spring IS on the way!!!

eb said...

this was "punny" harry! loved it!

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

It's so funny that the groundhog is the only Phil who makes any sense! Hilarious, Harry! Happy Groundhog Day, back at cha!

John Wiswell said...

My dad was Phil, too. I'd just leave it up to the groundhog.

Karen from Mentor said...

I love Groundhog Day. So much so that I've even seen "The making of Groundhog Day"

Harold Ramis is a brilliant writer/director. Notice I very kindly didn't mention his acting?

This piece killed me. When I got to :

Dr.Phil: “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

I laughed out loud, then I wondered if you had been drinking the same cold medicine that made me have purple dreams last night.

Wendy said...

Nuttin' but phunny here.:)