Friday, February 25, 2011

The Anthropomorphic dog

Harry B. Sanderford

Billy's struggling artist days ended the day he came up with the gimmick of painting  his rottweiller Rufus in a variety of humanesque, if humiliating  poses.
Wrapped in a shawl rocking Whistler's Mother style, fly fishing in waders and a hooky hat, or overalled and pitch-forking American Gothic with Francine the french poodle who lives next door, Rufus found ironic abstraction tedious .
"Yo Bro, don't make me go all anthropomorphic on your ass up in here," Rufus snarled.
Billy Blake looked up from his easel, "You feelin' froggy leap Motherfucker, but first stop scratchin' at them fleas and hold that mug how I showed you."
"Dawg, I tole you I aint got no mutherfuckin' thumbs an' I'm scratchin' at this wooly ass sweater you makin' me wear, aint even my color."
"You're spillin' beer all over is what you're doing. Just hold it best you can, I'm almost done." And with a few more strokes he was, another Mastercard masterpiece for the mongrel masses. No offense Dog.


Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

Hahahahahaha! Oh Harry, you always put a smile on my place. Maybe it's the 'dawg' but for some reason I was thinking Randy Jackson in the role as Rufus. A rottie is the perfect choice for the story - just funnier having a tough dog doing silly things.
Did you do the painting?
You rock, Harry!

pegjet said...

I'm just shaking my head.
Are you the reason for all those greeting cards?

Anonymous said...

Ahahaha! Harry, this is a hoot! Thanks for the laughs!

Eric J. Krause said...

Rufus needs to back down and just pose. Those pictures are hilarious!

Good story.

John Wiswell said...

Better than the Comic Insult Dog. I can almost see you doing this - maybe a series on Facebook?

Icy Sedgwick said...

I love Rotties!! I want to see him playing cards.

Stephen said...

The dialogue is perfect for this one... dawg. And just imagining a dog using anthropomorphic--a gangsta dawg, even--was a hoot. Thanks for the fun ride, as always.

Steve Green said...

Great dialogue Harry, a bit RUFF on the poor rottie though. :)

Sugar said...

Poor Rufus! Exploited and exposed!! HA HA HA!!! Harry, you've gone to the dogs in a good way.