Friday, December 3, 2010

Tangerine Unforseen


by Zelda Martin & Harry B. Sanderford

Sadie was outside looking for the newspaper and cursing the cold, December wind, when she spotted a bright orange tangerine lying in the middle of the snow-covered driveway. Like a beautiful painting, the incongruent image of the citrus in the snow seized Sadie for a moment, eliciting laughter even as tears formed in her eyes and her heart swelled with what she would later decide was joy, then quickly sank with what she knew to be sorrow upon realizing that the pretty perishable was cradled not in the snow as first thought, but rather perched just above it on the frozen tips of a man's fingers. Her mind raced wildly, wondering if she should brush off the snow and see who the man was, or if she should dial 911, or just grab the tangerine and run back into the house and eat it. Sadie's deliberations were settled when she broke into a run, arms flailing, yelling, "Shoo, GO-Wan, SHOO!" at a great black crow who had swooped from the power line landing inches from the fruit; more amusing than frightening her feathery foe when she slipped on a slick spot and slid in a butt-first beeline towards the frozen man, the crow and the fruit. She hit the crow with one cheek, sending him cawing into the air, and the tangerine with the other cheek, sending it rolling down the drive, and then she ground to a halt, stuck on those cold, stiff fingers. Horrified, embarrassed, verging on hysteria and to be honest just a little turned on by the cool fella's glacial grope, Sadie whipped around to see if her indignity had been observed. Finding the crow her only witness, she watched him peck twice at the frosty fruit before abandoning it to resume his post on the wire. Then she screamed and nearly joined him there when she felt those fingers move.


Madam Z Rocks all by herself here:
http://z-to-u.blogspot.com/
Check her out!

11 comments:

Steve Green said...

Oh my god, the imagination (and naughtiness) at work here is just awesome. Very well done.

~ ABSOLUTELY*KATE said...

Oh those glacial gropes. There's no biz like snow biz as the crow flies.

Mr Har and Madam Z ~ you treat well with Vitamin Z. ~ Absolutely*Kate

Rebecca Emin said...

This is so good! Creepy at the end too, makes me shiver and not just at the thought of the snow!

Stephen said...

What a great way to end this piece. I imagine I would have jumped up on that wire too.

John Wiswell said...

Did you and Madame Z tag in and out every sentence? Brainstorm it all on up? One typist, one speaker? How'd ya do it, Harry?

Harry said...

Madam Z sent me the first sentence and I sent her back the second and so forth. No brainstorming just working off what was sent and trying to make each other grin. It's fun, I recommend you all give it a whirl.

Thanks for reading and for the nice comments everyone!

Stephen said...

Good story both of you: twisty-turny in the tiny ways that matter. Entertaining where it went next. Liked the incongruous - and tasty - image of the tangerine on the snow, and the fingers were amusing. A lot of the way you wrote it comes across in the zest, I think.

Urg... unintentional orange-based pun ;)

Eric J. Krause said...

Great story, and I have to agree that the creepy ending is quite well done!

Kevin Michaels said...

Great story! Love how this one flowed and really enjoyed the killer ending! Very well done to both of you!

~Tim said...

Creepy funny.

Paul D. Brazill said...

A proper chiller. Very well done.