Monday, December 13, 2010

Dr. Ramsey M.D. W.W.B.R.D

Harry B. Sanderford

Dr. Ramsey cleaned his nails with a set of dollar store clippers emblazoned with WWJD, that he picked from a peg board wall of similarly monogrammed items ranging from flashlights to forceps. He thought about his patients who gave thanks to Jesus. It seemed to bring them such comfort but for the good doctor, only doubt. He may well be the truth and the light, the good doctor smirked clicking the switch on a plastic penlight, but apparently batteries are not always included.

Ramsey finished his one dollar manicure with the notion of faith still lingering. It wasn't that he begrudged his patients their beliefs, fact was he longed for something to believe in himself. Maybe I could adopt an acronymic life philosophy for myself, he thought tossing batteries, pickles and packing tape into the cart. He continued wandering the aisles gathering kitchen and office supplies and pondering life's mystery until eventually arriving in children's toys as if led by a divine hand to the peg-hooked beacon dangling before him.

Back in his car he tossed the rest of the one dollar disguise kit into the back seat, adjusted the mirror to smooth his new mustache, yelped a giddy laugh, and punching the pedal to the floor, sped off into his new life guided by a single philosophical question: What Would Burt Reynolds Do?


Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

Oh he'd do just that, and then pose nekkid in a women's magazine.

Crybbe666 said...

Could be the real Burt, Dr Ramsey wouldnt know when to quit his evil ways...

Great job, Harry. Loved the "yelped a giddy laugh".

John Wiswell said...

Here I thought the 'R' was a hint about what Ramsey would do. Burt Reynolds? He'd drive all night!

Stephen said...

Took me a moment or two to get the WWJD reference - I thought the doctor had a complete set of personally monogrammed equipment. :)

I love the doctor's new philosophical direction and the enthusiasm with which he's following it. There's just not enough stories about stick-on tash's and Burt Reynolds as a role model.

Thanks Harry.

Jodi MacArthur said...

Batteries, pickles, and packing tape? Did I tell ever tell you abuot electrocuting pickles in my younger years. Seriously, they jumped all over teh place it was flipping hilarious.

My fav line "He may well be the truth and the light, the good doctor smirked clicking the switch on a plastic penlight, but apparently batteries are not always included."

Witty & clever as ever Har Bro!

Harry said...

Thanks everyone! JoJo, I haven't electrocuted any pickles but I remember my little brother wanted a hotdog cooker for Christmas one year. He'd seen a commercial for them and was facinated. He got it, and that device was basically a hotdog electrocuter. Either end of the weiner was pushed on to an electrode and when you flipped the switch it rode ol' Sparky until you had the delightful smell of carnage and piping hot tubesteak!