Friday, September 3, 2010

A Dog Eat Dog World

By Harry B. sanderford

By 1962, her beauty faded and promotional appeal diminished, Hillevi, in an ironic twist of fate found it necessary to seek employment in the factory that produced the very franks she'd helped popularize in her spokes-model days. She started in lymph-nodes and nostrils and after only 17 months was promoted to the cartilage and organ meats division. In no time at all she'd been through knuckles and spleens and was well on her way in colorings and preservatives.

Her rise was meteoric. Unprecedented, remarked Tube Steak Today, the industry journal that again and again profiled Hillevi's accomplishments. She was it seems, a natural. A term not tossed freely about in either spokes-modeling or the red-hots biz.

Sadly, despite her rapid advancement and apparent success, it cannot be said that Hillevi was happy. As a girl, Hillevi dreamed of a different life for herself. She hoped to one day settle in Bunnell, or Hastings, or some other cosmopolitan metropolis with an inordinately high rate of wiener consumption and open a roadside motel that featured the most glorious hot dog buffet ever imagined.

Such a sweet, simple, foolish dream. Alas, the unfulfilled dream of an idealistic young beauty queen, only a glimmer of whom remains.

Hillevi seldom plays her clarinet these days. And though she cannot imagine her life without them in it, she no longer regards the dogs as worthy of her charms.

* Hillevi Romblin was Miss Universe in 1955.

Other than charming wieners in the photo above, her career in the red-hots biz, as far as I know, is one of my own fabrication.

Bon Apetite! H


Madam Z said...

Beauty Queens, both then and now, are known for making weiners rise.

Maria A. Kelly said...

Wow...I think I've lost my taste for dogs this Labor Day weekend with the lymph nodes and nostrils bit. From one Floridian bullsh...(ahem) writer to another, this is a well told story. Makes me appreciate burgers a hell of a lot more!

Marisa Birns said...

Am so happy that I stopped eating hot dogs years ago. She should have learned to type.

Cathy Olliffe said...

You're funny! "Tube Steak Today" HA!
Started out in lymph nodes and nostrils - again with the HA!
Some funny stuff going on in this one and I love the photo!
Despite this, despite all I know about hot dogs, I still love 'em. Can't help it.

Laurita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laurita said...

Tube Steak Today. Hahaha. Harry, when it comes to getting a chuckle, you are top dog.

Sugar said...

Hot diggity dog, Har! You've managed a meaty slur that is fully cooked, smoked, and cured. I relish it!