A Regular Peculiar Day

A Triple Play By, Paul Phillips, Absolutely*Kate & Harry B. Sanderford

Once upon a tome in a bustling bookshop far, far away, toiled a man who loved fast cars and loathed slow books. Peculiar customers with peculiar customs were a regular occurrence for this regular man but one morning, all records were broken for kookiness. As was the fashion, customers milled lazily about the rows of neatly stacked volumes with little intent of purchase while this regular man in his regular way ignored them, skimming Cliff's Notes on Othello, (being extra careful not to crinkle the corners thereby rendering it un-saleable) just as typical as Tuesday until the most horrendous metal twisting chrome crunching crash interrupted this regular man's regular morning and he looked up to see the huge black Hummer backing slowly away from the rear of his formerly pristine 1967 California Special as if seeking a better vantage point from which to fully appreciate the modern sculpture it had just made of the Mustang's rear bumper. CRASH went the California Special - CRUNCH went the chrome - COLLAPSE went the Cliff's - CLANG went the taut strings of the heightened heart palpitations of the regular man who owned the bustling bookshop where peculiar customers milled lazily and swift skimming was the secret rage ~ no typical today taunted this tainted Tuesday! Arising from his chair, this regular man swept all the peculiar customers aside on his way to the exit, palpitating heart bashing harder and harder against his chest, his stride becoming faster and faster, his face becoming redder and redder, until he made his way outside to the parking bay (parking bays were reserved for one car at a time, right?) to confront the definitely UNregular but extremely peculiar owner of the Heavy Metal Lunchbox On Wheels who had just turned his California Special into the short wheel-base model. He was boiling with rage, ready to read the regular riot act to the rear ending road hog but when the driver’s door popped open he watched the tallest teal heels and the most beautiful legs slide into view for the longest time before being followed by the shortest skirt, well, his heart went BOOM and when he saw her standing there, the way she looked was way beyond compare, and suddenly there was syncopation to his palpitation, and as his heart skipped a beat to the cha-cha samba rumba, he gazed into her beautiful eyes and spoke the words his heart could not, “Might have known it, woman driver!”

Check out:

Paul's bookstore, http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Readers-Heaven/120494344664261 

A*K's Theater, http://at-the-bijou.blogspot.com/